Friday, October 5, 2012

Miracles Never Ceased and Continue Today!

It has been nine days since I had my surgery and I thought today would be a good time to update everyone on what has transpired since my last post as well.  As you know, September 26th was the big day of surgery and it was a total success!  Before I elaborate more on the success of the the surgery there are some things I would like share.  The first thing is I have always maintained that miracles do exist even in our day and time.  Even as pessimistic or unbelieving that society has become, it doesn't change the fact that God continues to perform miracles today just as in biblical times. 

Secondly, until about two weeks ago, I had thought that faith was the main factor in whether miracles happen or not.  I have learned in my experience that it is more than just faith.  It is having the faith that the miracle sought out is possible, and accepting God's will unconditionally even if his will is not to perform the sought out miracle.  When Dr. Goff met with us a few weeks ago before the surgery, he said that the reduction of 60% was great news and that we should be happy about that.  He also said there was a chance he may not be able to remove all the tumor because of its location so close to the aorta and left subclavian artery.  He said he'd do his best but that was the possibility to be aware of.  After months of chemotherapy, after being emotionally and physically tired for so long, it took some time to take in that the tumor may not be able to be removed in its entirety.  It was probably the hardest thing for me to say, "Heavenly Father, I have the faith that the surgery will be a success and the tumor will be removed in its entirety, if it is thy will.  I accept thy will whatever the outcome may be."  Once I truly accepted it in my heart and my mind I was very much at peace and went into the surgery very calm still not knowing what the final outcome would be but knowing that a loving Heavenly Father was with me and watching over me. 

Returning to the success of the surgery.  The surgery lasted 6 hours and I am glad I was the one having surgery because had I been in the waiting room, I'm sure it would have been the longest 6 hours of my life.  Dr. Goff was able to use his great talents and I feel God blessed him as well so that he'd be sharp and precise and he removed the tumor in its entirety. He did have to do some grafting on my left lung and inside the chest wall.  There was even removal of a great portion of the innominate vein.  There also was some dissecting around the nerve that is part of the voice box and Dr. Goff thought my voice would be soft or hoarse for many months and that I would even need speech therapy.  None of that was the case and I was sipping water and talking to my nurse within a few hours of being transferred to my room.  I count that as another miracle, and the miracles have been many.

I was suppose to stay in the ICU for at least two days depending on my recuperation and progress.  Within about 15 hours I was transferred to a regular room with the ability to eat anything I wanted.  Previously I had been restricted to no food and only able to take liquids by sucking on a sponge. Last time I had the sternotomy, it lasted only 2 hours and I was in the hospital for 5 days. This time it was 6 hours and I was home within three days.  I got home Saturday and have been up and walking around, and going up and down the stairs by myself.  The first time I had the surgery, Gloria had to bathe me for a week, and this time she only had to bathe me on Saturday and I have been blessed to do it myself everyday this week. 

What I have taken from this whole journey that started back in May is there are little miracles that happen everyday of our lives.  The question is do we have our eyes openly spiritually enough to recognize them?  I am so grateful for this experience as it has taught me to treasure life on a deeper level and to recognize what a blessing it is to just go for a walk or sit down to eat dinner with the ones you love. I look forward to each day looking for that miracle whether big or small because they are there, we just have to keep our eyes open long enough to see them.

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