Port-a-cath and Anniversary - May 30, 2012

Yesterday we met with Dr. Goff as a follow-up on my sternotomy and he said it has healed really well. I am still restricted to only lifting 10 lbs. so no picking up Zoe for another month.  This is the hardest part of it not being able to hold my baby girl, its okay it seems that she understands that daddy is sick and we still have fun rolling around on the floor.

Today I will be going into McKay-Dee and having a small out-patient surgery by Dr. Goff to insert a port-a-cath.  Basically they make an incision just below the collar bone, they thread a wire and tube into the vein and then sealed the skin so there is nothing exposed. Then when they hook me up for chemotherapy, they just feel for the bump and insert the needle and that is it. It will be nice so I don't have to worry about an IV, or getting the area wet or dirty. Then tomorrow we have another appointment with Dr. Johnson to start chemotherapy. We are thinking he'll start me on it this weekend or the first of next week. With that being said we probably will have our head shaving party this Friday or Saturday. I will let everyone know when.

I know we have miracles even today.  Many of them may be small miracles, but miracles nonetheless. Yesterday when Dr. Goff was explaining the procedure he said they usually install the port-a-cath on the left side because most people are right-handed and the port-a-cath can sometimes interfere with arm and hand mobility.  He said unfortunately, the vein on the left side has been narrowed by the tumor and so we'll have to insert the port-a-cath on the right side to make sure we have a clear and open vein to receive chemotherapy. He apologized and said "I wish you were left-handed" to which I replied "I am." He smiled as if he knew this was a miracle for me. I won't have to worry about any short-term loss of mobility in my left arm or hand.  I am grateful for these experiences.

Today marks our ninth anniversary. How fast time flies by.  I remember the day that Gloria and I were married in the Bountiful Temple. It was such a beautiful experience and I am so thankful to have such a loving wife. She is my best friend, my strength, and my everything. She is such a good sport because today we'll be spending our anniversary in the hospital.  She did say though that I need to beat this cancer and beat it good so that next year on our tenth anniversary we can be vacationing somewhere in another country looking back on this experience and how it has made us grow closer and looking to the future with great optimism.  Gloria, I love you with all my heart and I am so grateful to have spent these past nine years with you, and I look forward to many more years at your side looking into your beautiful eyes and enjoying that beautiful smile. Happy Anniversary!

Family, Friends, and Faith - Memorial Day Weekend

I am so grateful for Family, Friends, and Faith. I was going to title it my three favorite Fs or F-words but I didn't want anyone to get the wrong idea or to get offended, ha ha. In all seriousness though today I wanted to write a little bit about each of these.

Family - How does one even start to describe what a blessing it is to have such a loving family. We all know that life gets busy. We all have our individual families with children, work, school activities, church, and lots of things pulling us different ways.  What I am grateful for is that when it really and truly matters my family is there for me.  Gloria my sweet wife is the rock of our family right now and I don't know what I would do without her strength, love, support, and care.  She really has taken care of me not out of responsibility or pity, but because she truly loves me and I love her. I'm grateful for my daughter Zoe, she is such a joy to have and I love watching her grow everyday and she is my motivation to staying positive.  If she's so much fun now, imagine how much fun it will be when she's eight, thirteen, or even sixteen? That in itself is reason enough to lay the SMACKDOWN on this cancer.

My parents have been awesome and continue to be a great support, best parents in the world.  There hasn't been a day gone by without my mom and dad having called, texted, or visited to know how I am doing and asking how they can help out. Tia Lucinda has been such a blessing as she has been watchful over Zoe as we've been in the hospital and to multiple doctor's appointments. To my dear grandmother, I'm thankful that I'm in your prayers every night. To all my siblings for their great love, hugs, phone calls, texts, visits: Ben and Ness, Jefferson and Maria, Ash and Jake, Cass and Tay, Desi, Josh and Harm, Nick, and Dave.To all my nieces and nephews, aunts, uncles, and cousins as well.To all our family in Ecuador, we can feel your love, your faith, and your prayers.

I would like to name every individual of our family near and afar but then this would start to sound like the Book of Numbers in the Old Testament and I don't want to put anyone to sleep.  Know that I love each of you very much.

Friends - What can I say about friends and I'm not talking about how big my friend list is on Facebook. I'm talking about those wonderful people that come into our lives and make an impact for good. A true friend which so many of you are, isn't necessarily someone who is joined with you at the hip and you have to do everything together and always hang out.  A true friend are those that although you may not talk to them everyday or see very often, they will be there when support and friendship are needed most. I've had friends get into contact with me as of late just to let me know my family is in their prayers, I think that is pretty awesome. Thank you for the numerous words of encouragement, the wonderful meals, and the faith filled prayers. A friend said that my family and I need not worry because we have an army praying for us, and that army is comprised of family and friends. Thank you, we love you, and ask for your continued prayers.

Faith - I think that faith is one of the greatest attributes that we can possess. How awesome is it that we can put our trust in someone or something that we haven't seen but we've felt it in our hearts that it is true. Faith for me is trusting that God hears my prayers and answers them. Faith is choosing to make righteous choices and trusting that we will be blessed for doing so.  Faith is trusting in God that I will be able to overcome thymic cancer and to be healed from it completely.

I read an article in the June issue of the New Era, an LDS magazine geared towards the youth of the church. In it I read the following words from Elder Neil L. Andersen:

Challenges, difficulties, questions, doubts—these are part of our mortality. But we are not alone. As disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, we have enormous spiritual reservoirs of light and truth available to us. Fear and faith cannot coexist in our hearts at the same time. In our days of difficulty, we choose the road of faith. Jesus said, “Be not afraid, only believe” (Mark 5:36).

I really liked the part about how fear and faith cannot coexist in our hearts at the same time.  When we fear, we begin to doubt and then our faith becomes shaken. I am reminded of when Peter walked upon the water with the Savior in the New Testament. When he started to fear, he started to sink and asked that he be saved. The Savior then said to him, o thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt? Faith has never led me down the wrong path and has always been the key to overcoming the challenges and trials I have had in my life.  For that reason I am grateful for my faith in a loving Heavenly Father and a loving Savior.   

Echocardiogram - May 27, 2012

I am a little late updating everyone on this post. Thursday we went and had an echocardiogram done and I was a little worried because the ultrasound tech wanted to remove the steri-strips and I am still a little over protective of that area even though I'm sure it has healed fine. Needless to say she was able to get all the information she needed without removing them. When we finished Gloria asked her how it looked and her response was typical of any hospital personnel who is not a doctor.  She said that only a doctor can interpret the results of the test and that they would let me know on Tuesday. Tuesday I have a chest x-ray and a follow up from the surgery.  Wednesday Dr. Goff will insert a portacath into my chest in preparation for chemotherapy, which will be great so I won't have to be hooked up to an IV.  Also the drugs being used are the strongest ones used for thymic cancer and so a portacath is the preferred method to receive the drugs.  I will be getting a combination of: Cisplatin, Cyclophosphamide, and Doxorubicin. On Thursday May 31, I will meet with Dr. Johnson and he will let me know when I start chemotherapy. I'm hoping I can do it over the weekend but we'll have to see what he says.

Battle Plan - May 21, 2012

Today started out kind of rough. I was having a lot of pain in my left arm which is from a totally separate thing that comes and goes. I also let myself get too low on my blood sugar.  The blood sugar was in a way amusing because when I blessed the food I said "thank you Heavenly Father for my son Jesus Christ" and then I started to mumble and not make sense.  It took every bit of will power from Gloria to hold in her laughter. It was amusing to say the least. The day however turned out to be a great one.

I went to the oncologist and I have to say I am very grateful to be in the hands of Dr. Johnson and to finally have a Battle Plan to kick this cancer all over the place.  As Gloria said, "It's Go Time!" I was impressed that Dr. Johnson wanted to know everything from my diabetes to my broken leg from 1999. He gave some very encouraging and valuable information. He said that in his 20 plus years of practicing he has never seen a thymic carcinoma spread to other areas of the body, that they usually stay contained in the chest area. He also said that he wanted to start with 2 cycles of chemotherapy, re-examine the tumor, and if it has been shrunk adequately, Dr. Goff can go back in and remove all of it.  Dr. Johnson said if that is the case, then he is confident I can be cured completely from this cancer, and I have a lot of faith that I will cured from it. 

I have to do an eco-cardiogram on Thursday to make sure my heart is strong enough for one of the drugs, and some more blood work to be done as well. If everything goes well with this I will probably start chemotherapy the first week of June.  Dr. Johnson gave us the option of doing it outpatient or inpatient and Gloria and I decided that inpatient for the first cycle would be the best so that we can see how I do and so that Gloria can learn from the nurses what to look for and basically so both of us will have peace of mind.  If I do well with the first cycle then the second I will do as outpatient. They want to be aggressive with this so each cycle will consist of three days of treatment followed by 2 1/2 weeks between the second cycle and then it will repeat.  He said the drugs they will be using are very strong and it is more than likely that I will lose my hair. With that said, we'll be having a head shaving party the second week of June so if anyone wants to join us just let me know.  I think having a positive attitude is key to this and so why not have a good time along the way.

To finish out the day our family came over and helped us finish up some weeding that needed to be done so that Tia Lucinda can start to plant flowers out front and some veggies in the back. It was a great night to have the family there and showing their love and support. Everyone has busy lives and it seems we always have commitments and other things pulling us every which way, I'm just grateful that when it truly is needed that my family is there, that is what counts!

I'm also grateful to all family and friends near and far. We have been so blessed with help in the house, help in the yard, delicious food on our table, visits, the facebook messages, the texts, emails, phone calls, and the list goes on and on. Truly we have been the receivers of charity which is the true love of Christ. I can't express how grateful Gloria and I are to know that we have an army cheering us on from all parts of the world. Thank you all so much.  I'll have another update on Thursday.

Cancer Conference - May 16, 2012

Dr. Goff called today and said that after consulting with his colleagues at the cancer conference (I like to think of it as a Jedi Council or Fellowship from LOTR). He said that because the tumor has wrapped itself around a major blood vessel and nerve, he recommends that I see an oncologist for a few cycles of chemotherapy before they go in and remove the tumor. He said we can take the option of going in, removing the tumor, reconstructing the blood vessel, but that it does carry some risk and could cause complications. I asked him if pathology staged the cancer. He said yes but to be mindful that thymic carcinomas are rare and so the staging is different from other cancers.  He said that it is within a stage 3 or 4 but that does not mean what a stage 4 would with leukemia, breast cancer, etc. He said that means that the tumor is malignant, it has moved outside the thymus gland, and some other things that I don't remember because we were trying to write things down as he stated them. It is a scary to hear your cancer is a rare one but I refuse to let that get my spirits down and to continue to have faith and strength.

One of my favorite role models is not even a real person. Its Rocky Balboa. In the final movie of Rocky, he is telling his son about how life is. I think it is very inspiring and one of my all time favorite movie clips.  As cheesy as it sounds it helps me realize that we can't control everything that happens to us, but we can control how we handle it.  We can either keep fighting or we can give up.

ITS NOT ABOUT HOW HARD YOU CAN HIT

Mother's Day - May 13, 2012

Today is Mother's Day and I can't tell you how grateful I am for the women in my life. My mother, my sisters, sister-in-laws, aunts, cousins, and friends. Today is especially awesome because it is Gloria's first Mother's Day. As you all know, Zoe came to our home through adoption and it was a long and hard road because we went through a lot of uncertainties of how and when our home would be filled with the joy that only a child can bring. Gloria is the best mother in the world. From day one, Gloria has had an unconditional and indescribable love for Zoe. Zoe has what is called mommyitis and I credit that to the love and care that Gloria gives to Zoe day in and day out. I LOVE YOU and Happy Mother's Day.

Pathology Results - May 11, 2012

Dr. Goff called and gave us the results from pathology.  He said it is a thymic carcinoma and it just happens that only about 10% of all thymoma tumors are malignant.  Too bad I can't have this luck with the lottery or winning tickets to see the World Cup. He said that he is going to have a cancer conference with several other specialists that include surgeons, and oncologists to discuss my case and to come up with a plan of action. So another few days waiting and thinking about what is to come.  In the words of the prophet Joseph Smith, "I am calm as a summer's morning."  I thought it would be difficult to say but it is not, I have thymic cancer. When we think about life's struggles I am reminded that we are here to tried and tested. Jesus Christ himself told Joseph Smith:

if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.

The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?

We are called to pass through trials and even though cancer is a tough one to go through I am at peace knowing that I am a child of God and that he loves me and knows my worries, trials, and afflictions.  I know that he is mindful of me and my physical and spiritual needs. He is mindful of my dear wife Gloria and my beautiful daughter Zoe. I have faith that everything will be fine.  I don't know how many of you get the Ensign the LDS Church magazine, but we were on the back cover of the most recent issue.  The quote fits perfectly for what we are going through and it was comforting to have it.

How blessed we are, my brothers and sisters, to have the restored gospel of Jesus Christ in our lives and in our hearts. It provides answers to life’s greatest questions. It provides mean­ing and purpose and hope to our lives,” said President Thomas S. Monson during the closing session of the 182nd Annual General Conference. “We live in troubled times. I assure you that our Heavenly Father is mindful of the challenges we face. He loves each of us and desires to bless us and to help us.”

Coming Home from the Hospital - May 8, 2012

What a nice surprise. Our beautiful Zoe sitting in on the photo.

April 30th - May 5th, 2012

On April 30th, we went and met with Dr. Goff. He said from what he could see from the CT scan that the tumor is a thymoma which 90% of thymoma cases are benign. He said a biopsy wouldn't be a good idea because there was the risk of spilling cells into other parts of the body and that the best option would be to do surgery and attempt to remove the tumor completely. We were relieved to hear that Dr. Goff was thinking it would be as easy as that. We scheduled surgery for May 4th at McKay-Dee.

On May 4th, I went into surgery.  From what Dr. Goff, Gloria, and my Dad told me, when they went in to remove the tumor it was different than what the CT scan showed and so they biopsied it and sent it to pathology. Pathology immediately said they were not sure what kind of tumor this was and needed a larger sample so Dr. Goff retrieved a fairly large size of the tumor to be analyzed.  Without knowing the type of tumor and what they were dealing with, Dr. Goff had no choice but to close me up and end the surgery. Looking back I believe the Lord's hand was in this as well because had they only biopsied the tumor they still would have had to perform surgery because of the size of sample needed and so that is why I believe Dr. Goff thought it was a regular thymoma. The news that Dr. Goff did give me on Saturday May 5th, is that the tumor is malignant, and that we'd have to wait until next Friday for the results. In the meantime, I was recovering from surgery and what a great feeling to get the chest tube and drains out of me.

April 20th - 29th, 2012

On Friday, April 20th Gloria and I had the opportunity to go to dinner with some close friends the Vasquez and Arreagas. We hadn't seen Aaron Vasquez for quite some time since he was doing medical school in the Caribbean.  Talking at dinner Gloria mentioned that I was really thirsty and had been going to the bathroom a lot. He suggested getting tested for diabetes. I thought to myself diabetes no way, I've been losing weight, exercising 3-4 times a week, and eating healthy, nevertheless we took his advice to go see the doctor the following week.  Little did I know that this would be the start of a journey that has been guided by the hand of the Lord. People many time talk about things happening by coincidence, I believe that nothing happens by coincidence and that the hand of the Lord is present in all aspects of our lives. 

On April 25th I went to go see Dr. Stuart at the Tanner Clinic.  My regular doctor was out of town and so rather than waiting and letting too much time go by, I went with Dr. Stuart.After testing my blood sugar, Dr. Stuart was certain that I have Type I Diabetes. He didn't stop with just those tests, he decided to check my pulse and noticed it was a little high. As a precaution he ordered a chest x-ray just to be thorough since he had never seen me before. I went down the hall and did the chest x-ray and within 15 minutes the results were back that there was an unusual gap between my lungs.  Dr. Stuart decided just to be safe, he ordered a CT scan to make sure everything was good with my health. The next day I went back to do the CT scan and I had a follow up with Dr. Stuart on Friday, April 27th.

On April 27th Gloria went with me to find out about the results of the Type I Diabetes and the CT Scan. It was there that Dr. Stuart gave us the news that I was diagnosed with Type I Diabetes.  We were okay with that diagnosis as my grandfather had diabetes as well as my uncle Kriss and my older brother Ben. Dr. Stuart said that was not all the news.  He said I had a mass near the heart and the left lung. He stated that is why the chest x-ray showed such a large gap between the lungs and he said in the cases he'd seen, this is usually lymphoma (cancer of the lymph nodes) but that there is a high success rate of treatment with chemotherapy. Dr. Stuart also stated that because he isn't an oncologist or cardio-thoracic  surgeon, he had made an appointment for us with Dr. Goff for the following Monday, April 30th. As I stated before, the Lord's hand has been in this since the beginning. Had I not gotten the diabetic symptoms I would never have gone to the doctor.  The fact that my pulse was high and that Dr. Stuart wanted to do a chest x-ray just to be safe is no coincidence either. For that I am very thankful because I could have gone months or years without this being detected.

On April 28th, we shared the news with most of the family and did so knowing that if we are going to kick this tumor's butt, we'd need everyone's support, love, and most importantly, their faith and prayers. I believe with all my heart that miracles do happen but it requires faith and trust in God and Jesus Christ.  On Sunday, April 29th, I received a blessing from my father Jay accompanied by my brothers: Ben, Josh, Nick, and Dave; my brother-in-laws: Jefferson, Hugo,  and Jake; and my uncle Kriss. In that blessing it was pronounced that I was foreordained to come to the earth and perform many things, and that I have yet to perform many of those things.  That was very comforting to receive and there were many other beautiful things pronounced in the blessing.

Our Journey Through Cancer

 The following posts and journal entries are about my experiences with thymic cancer.  This blog is a collaboration of several members of the Whitesides Family. It is our hope that these posts will help share these experiences with family and friends.  I would like to thank everyone firsthand for the love, support, and prayers that our family has received and continues to receive.

With Love,

Jona